Bullied Behind Bars – Matt  Melvin’s Journey from Prison to Purpose

**Episode Intro – “Transforming Lives: From Bars to Blessings with Matt Melvin”**

Welcome back to *Transforming Lives*, the podcast where we dive deep into stories of hardship, healing, and radical change. I’m your host, Charmin Prince, joined by my co‑host Mitzi Dadun, and today we’re honored to sit down with a truly compelling guest—Matt Melvin, author of the raw, unflinching memoir *Bullied Behind Bars*.

Matt’s journey is a stark reminder of how a series of impulsive choices can tumble a life into the federal prison system, where he endured bullying, isolation, and the harsh realities of incarceration. Yet, amid those walls, he discovered unexpected sources of hope: relentless journaling, daily Bible study, and a deepening relationship with God. After two stints behind bars, Matt emerged with a powerful new identity—one that refuses to fit into any “box,” even after a later‑in‑life diagnosis of Asperger’s.

In this episode we’ll explore:

- **The power of vulnerability:** How men’s groups and honest, painful storytelling became Matt’s lifeline.
- **Living with neurodivergence:** The impact of his autism diagnosis on self‑understanding and impulse management.
- **Faith in the furnace:** The near‑death experience that thrust him into a deeper, fire‑filled walk with Jesus.
- **Practical tools for transformation:** Journaling, prayer, reading (from Stephen Covey to the Bible), and the importance of finding a tribe that challenges and supports you.
- **Key takeaways for anyone feeling trapped:** The first step is admitting the mistake, then seeking connection—whether through a men’s weekend, a support group, or simply reaching out to Matt himself.

Matt also shares rapid‑fire insights—one word that described him before prison (“Angry”), after prison (“Empathetic”), the most valuable skill he learned behind bars (journaling with a positive attitude), and his definition of freedom: *Fearlessness*.

If you’re looking for a story that proves redemption is possible, that kindness can be found in the darkest places, and that a commitment to honesty and faith can rewrite a life, stay tuned. Matt’s memoir is available on Amazon, and you can connect with him at **BullyBehindBars.com**, or on Instagram, Facebook, and X under the handle **BullyBehindBars**.

Grab your headphones, take a deep breath, and get ready for a conversation that will challenge, inspire, and remind us all that we are never truly confined—unless we let our past define us. Let’s dive in..

Sharmin Prince
Welcome to the Transforming Lives panel podcast. I'm one of your hosts, Sharmin Prince.

Mitzy Dadoun
I'm your other host, Mitzy Dadoun. And we have a guest with us today, Matt, who we will introduce a little bit more after Sharmin takes us through our breathing exercises.

Sharmin Prince
Thank you, Mitzy. Join me in taking a deep inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Another deep inhale and exhale. Inhale and exhale. Deep inhale and hold that inhale and let go of everything that you have to do that did not serve you today.

Just let it go on the exhale. Another deep inhale and let it go. Now breathe normally. And thank you so much for joining us for that deep breathing exercise.

Today, we're speaking to Matt Melvin, an author of the powerful new memoir, Bullied Behind Bars. After a series of poor choices led to a felony conviction, Matt's life took a drastic turn when he entered the federal prison system, where he faced bullying and profound hardship. His book chronicles a lonely childhood, a later in life autism diagnosis, and the difficult journey that forced him to confront his actions. Bullied Behind Bars is a raw look at the hard truths Matt learned about taking responsibility and his ultimate path to a transformed life.

Matt, welcome to the Transforming Life panel. Is there anything you'd like to add to your bio?

Matt Melvin
I think that summarizes it pretty well.

Sharmin Prince
Thank you. Now, where should we start? Because what led you to write the book?

Matt Melvin
For me, writing has always been cathartic. It's always helped me through difficult challenges in my life. And it wasn't until later in life that I realized that I was gifted and I enjoyed writing. I wanted to share my story with the world so that no one has to go through what I went through.

Mitzy Dadoun
Did you write the book while you were in prison or after you got out of prison?

Matt Melvin
Good question. I journaled. everything that was going on. Obviously that was thousands and thousands of pages.

And I had to sort of compact that into just doing the highlights because nobody's going to want to read thousands and thousands of pages of a book by somebody they don't know. It would get tedious and it would lose the reader very, very quickly. So it took me four years to take that raw journaling and make it into a book. And then I wanted to also include my childhood, being diagnosed with autism and on the Asperger's spectrum, and some of the challenges I've dealt with.

Mitzy Dadoun
So could you maybe just lead our listeners through your journey a little bit, sort of start at the beginning and kind of hit some of the key things that we should sort of know so that we can then kind of circle back and ask you some deeper questions on some of those issues.

Matt Melvin
I was bullied throughout elementary school, high school. And then I made bad decisions. I worked at a car dealership. They didn't pay me my commissions.

So I took the law into my own hands and tried to sell a car. And well, that was the impulsivity, which is the shadow of autism. And with mental health, that shadow never goes away. So there's no way to, get rid of the impulsivity, I always have it.

I'm just managing it better and I found better outlets to use it rather than for bad.

Sharmin Prince
What are some of those outlets you have found that manage the impulsivity?

Matt Melvin
Journaling, talking to people, writing down what's happening in my head. Before, when everything was happening, I didn't have the friends that I have today. And I have stronger relationships. We've been able to go deep and share my struggles.

We all have struggles. That's the key. I think that is really important. And what I've learned is that instead of bottling up those struggles, talking about it, and we can always find commonality with somebody, but if we don't share, we won't find that commonality.

So it's all about being vulnerable. And it's scary, but it's worth it in the long run.

Sharmin Prince
I'm so happy that you mentioned that because there might be some listeners who are on that precipice of, I need to speak to someone, but I don't know how to. Can you share a word of encouragement for that particular listener who is at that place where they know they need it? But because of mistrust and life experiences, they haven't made that decision.

Matt Melvin
Reaching out to somebody. Social media is both a curse and a benefit. There's a lot of good in social media, but there's also a lot of bad. It's all about trying to find your tribe, finding people that you have commonality with.

For me, because I'm neurodivergent, I had to find some friends that are neurodivergent that can understand my challenges. Otherwise, a lot of the stuff that I'm saying may not make sense to somebody who's not.

Mitzy Dadoun
Did you join support group? How did you originally meet the other people who sort of share that commonality?

Matt Melvin
through doing men's work and finding a group of men that are willing to be vulnerable.

Sharmin Prince
And was this work through a professional referral or connection or it's your own personal research?

Matt Melvin
It's my own personal research. I've looked at many, several, many, many men's groups and I've tried out many men's groups. Quite frankly, I only found one that's been really, really beneficial, but I'm always looking.

Sharmin Prince
Thank you. That's such an inspiration. And I am sure that someone is going to be inspired. Let's talk about your book.

You said it took you four years to choose parts of your journaling to create your memoir. Tell us a little about that journey.

Matt Melvin
It was a lot of heartache and pain and really trying to hone what was most important and try to chisel it down because I tend to be a guy that wants to share a lot of information. But I also realized that I need to find commonality with the reader very, very quickly. Otherwise, they're going to lose interest and not want to finish it. So I need to make that connection really, really quick.

I think in the beginning, sharing how I grew up and that I came from a fairly supportive family. My parents were very stoic. It's always been a common theme throughout my family. I'm the only one who shows emotion and really carries my emotion on my chest.

So it's very important for me when I make friends to have men and women in my life that are of that caliber. I find a friend that is stoic, I move on. Because in doing men's work, I've been at weekends with men that are stoic. And you never know, one minute they'll be okay, and the next minute they may want to punch you in the face.

And because you don't know where they are, it's very hard to gauge, and it makes me feel very, very uncomfortable. You have to understand, I was in prison twice, and so most of the men that are in prison are stoic. I saw a lot of that in my life. So for me, it's a red flag.

And I'm not saying that everybody that's stoic is a bad person, but when somebody's stoic, they're stuffing all that emotion. And when that emotion will come out some way, and a lot of times it's violence.

Mitzy Dadoun
You mentioned that you had a later in life diagnosis with being Asperger's and on the autism spectrum. Could you? Talk a little bit about, one, how you ended up properly getting diagnosed, and two, how having that information helped you understand yourself better and what that did for you when you found that out.

Matt Melvin
I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist and it really gave me validation that I wasn't the only one and I could, I no longer had to be compartmentalized into a box. I know that's what psychiatrists and therapists want to do is they want to put you in a box and say, this is the type of person you are. For me, every box that you're going to try to put me in, I don't fit. There's no box that's big enough for me to fit in.

Sharmin Prince
Ooh, that's a powerful, powerful statement. And when did you come to that realization that you cannot fit in a box?

Matt Melvin
I would say after my near-death experience, I was driving on 495 headed west in the middle lane going 72 miles an hour, which is very slow for me to drive. I like to drive fast. It's always been something that I've enjoyed. When a Lexus SUV was driving the other way came down an embankment and literally crossed in front of my car and but by the grace of God I was protected I didn't get in an accident and that was when I finally realized that God was real and that

I was saved and I needed to give up my Lying and stealing and being dishonest lifestyle and start living for God and getting in alignment with God instead of trying to get God in alignment with my way of thinking. And a lot of people, when they find God, they're very happy early on. And then over time, it becomes a chore, becomes something that's habitual and ritualistic. And for me, I am more passionate about God now than I was when I first got saved.

I mean, I was on fire for God then too, but I'm more on fire for God today. you know, these podcasts that I get to go on, a friend told me this, and I get to share my message of God and how great God is. A lot of people don't get to have that power and that ability to share the gospel.

Sharmin Prince
So it was the near-death situation or experience that was twofold for you, and correct me if I'm wrong. First, it led you into a deeper personal relationship with God. And second, to identify that there's no box that you can fit into. So there was a sense of identity that you came into.

Matt Melvin
Correct.

Sharmin Prince
So I think I read somewhere that you said you had conflicting identities.

Matt Melvin
now do you? Well, I wouldn't say, you know, again, people want to put people in boxes. And if you believe this, then you can't, then this can't be true. Or if you believe this, this has to be true for me, whatever's in the Bible is true.

And I have to align my beliefs to God's. God's not going to align his beliefs to me. You know, God is unchanging. He's the same past, present, and future.

And I think a lot of people, they only want God when they're in the pits, when they're in prison or they're in a prison in their life. I mean, I think a lot of people may not physically be in a prison, but they can be in a prison emotionally, spiritually.

Mitzy Dadoun
Very, very true. You mentioned that you went to prison twice. Could you sort of talk about what led you the first time, what transpired in between the first and second time, and what led you back the second time? Because obviously there was, as is often the case when somebody is turning their life around, it's not a straight line.

It's ups and downs, it's challenges and successes and overcoming things. So could you talk a little bit about that aspect for us?

Matt Melvin
In 2004, I worked at a car dealership. They didn't pay me my commissions, so I impulsively made the mistake of trying to sell one of their cars. I got 18 months, I came out, and I've always believed in God, but for a long time, I've been a lukewarm Christian, again, just trying to check those boxes, not really doing the work. And when I came out, I couldn't pass a background check, so I used other people's information to pass a background check.

And that was in 2009, and the government ended up pursuing me for six years and finally got an indictment against me in 2016 after going to five grand juries and spending about a half a million dollars. And then I spent another 18 months, and that's where I wrote my book, because I went to 10 different facilities in a short 18 months, which is unheard of. But the reason I went to so many facilities was twofold. One, I wrote a lot of grievances.

I held these people accountable. The grievance system is essentially the complaint system. If you have an issue, that's how you alert the jail staff about what's going on. And I had inmates that would fabricate stories and tell the guards that I was propositioning them.

And then the guards would believe them and then they would put me in solitary confinement.

Sharmin Prince
How did you cope during the 18 months and being transferred in and out of tent facility, what was your go-to coping mechanism?

Matt Melvin
Journaling. Praying. Reading God's word. And, you know, listening.

You know, there were inmates that were in other cells screaming and yelling and trying to help them as best I can.

Mitzy Dadoun
What are some of the things that surprised or shocked you that you didn't expect from the time that you spent in the prisons? And how did that affect your life?

Matt Melvin
I didn't expect there to be any decent people behind bars. I didn't expect there to be any decent guards behind bars. And I didn't expect to find the church that I'm going to now.

Mitzy Dadoun
So you're saying when you were in prison, you did find some decent guards and some decent people that were in there as well?

Matt Melvin
Very few, but yes, there were a few.

Mitzy Dadoun
When somebody reads your book, what do you want them to take from the book?

Matt Melvin
I don't want to have anybody have to go through what I went through. So if an individual is committing low-level crimes, if it's not dealt with properly, mental health, therapy, men's groups, if there's not a fix, if the issue's not resolved, it will accelerate, which is exactly what happened to me. I didn't just start selling a car. There were other signs well before that.

that were not treated properly and were not solved.

Mitzy Dadoun
Do you think if you had gotten your diagnosis of autism Asperger's earlier on that knowing that and whatever resources that might've opened up to you could have helped change the path that you were on?

Matt Melvin
Perhaps, but I was pretty rebellious. I was pretty, Fearless, and I still am fearless, but I was not scared. I was a huge risk

Sharmin Prince
taker. Being the risk taker you are, the fearless individual and becoming vulnerable, What was that moment that pivot your mindset where you had a paradigm shift and an understanding that vulnerability is your escape out of this place that I'm in?

Matt Melvin
when I started doing men's work. And that was in March of 2022. I did a men's weekend. I went to a weekend with a bunch of men I didn't know.

They took my cell phone. They went through my bags. And I was left connecting with people and being vulnerable, sharing my story with men I didn't even know. Even journaling journals, and most of the time we were told to remain in a central silence.

And that was very hard for me, because I like to talk. But it was a challenge. And I think that the men that had the biggest challenge were those that have everything given to them, haven't been in prison, are in control or think that they are in control when we're never really in control. That's an illusion or a delusion maybe, depending upon the perception.

But the folks that, listened and accepted that they signed up for this and were open to not knowing what time it is or what the next activity would be, didn't have an easier time. Those that wanted to fight, question, those were the people that had the biggest challenge.

Mitzy Dadoun
Did you find it hard to be giving up that any sense of control.

Matt Melvin
No question. Nope. Cause I've had it done. I was in prison twice where I had no control and I couldn't leave in prison.

I couldn't leave men's weekend. If I decide I want to leave, I could leave at any point.

Mitzy Dadoun
I know. The gentleman is around 25 had been trying to help who's had some mental health issues and drug addiction, and he ended up going to jail as well. And he said that that was when he. Just just recently, but a year ago, got out, he said that.

What he really. missed and found really hard when he was in prison was that sense of you have literally no control on anything in your life, like nothing. And that feeling of, he said, just being able to, you know, go outside and take a breath of fresh air whenever you wanted to, or, you know, just those, even those little things were massively huge when he got out. And he said that, you know, that's, a big part of what is helping him keep on track and try and work to deal with his issues is that never wanting to be in a position where you have no control on anything in your life again.

I

Sharmin Prince
have this burning question, Matt. How are you able to protect your inner self from this hostile world?

Matt Melvin
That's a fair question. Trying to find like-minded people that are positive. If I surround myself with negative people, I can be all positive every single day of the week. I will turn

Mitzy Dadoun
negative. Did you do a lot of reading? I know a lot of people talk about sort of like Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar, Stephen Covey, a lot of, you know, sort of writing that they do of sort of helping people become the best that they can be. Was that part of your journey?

Matt Melvin
I've read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I think every single one of his principles are helpful. In terms of other books, I spend most of my time just reading the Bible. That's where I get my solace.

But for each person, it's different. And try to find like-minded people that you can share something in common with. It doesn't matter who you are. If you're not gonna be able to make a friend if you disagree about everything, it's not gonna happen.

So you have to find people that you can find commonality with and then focus on that rather than things that you just don't agree on. And listen, I think it's really important to find people that will challenge you on your beliefs. If everybody agreed with me, it would be very, very boring. I like to be challenged in a calm, collective manner.

Sharmin Prince
What is the highlight of your book?

Matt Melvin
I don't know if there's one highlight, but I guess perhaps coming out on the other side, being a better person. I mean, I was asked on a podcast, was prison good for you? And my answer is, in some ways it was, in some ways it wasn't. I can't change the past, I can only change the future.

I am of the firm belief that I would not have my strong faith today if it wasn't for my prison experience. I don't think I would be in the word as much as I am today. I don't think I would be ministering to other people if I didn't have that experience.

Mitzy Dadoun
If you could talk to your younger self, go back and talk to six-year-old Matt or 10-year-old Matt with the knowledge that you have today, what would you say to yourself?

Matt Melvin
I love you. You're enough. You're sufficient. You're worthy.

Mitzy Dadoun
Huge.

Matt Melvin
What other people think of you is none of your business. Don't let other people shame you. When people bully you, it's because they're miserable, they're unhappy, they're missing something.

Sharmin Prince
Beautiful, beautiful. How did you end your book? What's the conclusion?

Matt Melvin
The conclusion is I'm still here. I survived. I got out and I'm a better person.

Sharmin Prince
We make mistakes daily. Some impact our lives for a long time and some we get over easily. What would be your encouragement to someone who might just be out of prison and the shame, the guilt has enveloped them?

Matt Melvin
To reach out. to go to a men's weekend, to talk about what's going on, to not isolate, to not shame yourself. If you have to stand in a mirror and say to yourself every morning, I love you, I love you, I love you, then do it. If you can't love yourself, you're not going to be able to love another person.

If you can't Accept yourself for who you are. You can't help anyone else. If I'm miserable or unhappy with myself, I can't be a good friend to other people.

Sharmin Prince
What is so profound, Matt, or the common theme throughout the last 30 minutes with you? is the importance of connection, interpersonal relationship. You keep highlighting that. And support from others.

You mentioned the men's group. There might be men listening to this podcast. Where do they find men's group? How do they get involved to attend one?

Matt Melvin
They can do Google searches. They can reach out to me via email, BullyBehindBars at gmail.com. They can reach out to me on Instagram, BullyBehindBars. I'm on Facebook, Matthew.Melvin.5621 and xBarsBully.

I'm always willing to talk to anyone. But going on Reddit or some of these other platforms, You know, Reddit is just a complaint department complaining about everything. It's not going to help anyone.

Sharmin Prince
Your story is so powerful and it's, it has become a testimony to the human capacity for change and transformation. However, I know you have spoken a lot about men's group, but what is one step anyone can take today, right now, to begin rebuilding their life after personal failure, big or small?

Matt Melvin
I think the first step is admitting that you made a mistake. If an alcoholic wants to get help, he or she has to admit that they have a problem. If they don't admit that they have a problem, anything after that, the other steps in Big Bill's book are useless. And by the way, Big Bill's book can help with anything.

It doesn't have to be alcohol. It doesn't have to be drugs. You substitute any addiction, whether it's your cell phone. I personally think the cell phone is the biggest addiction people have.

Social media, whatever it may be, we all have an addiction. We have to admit that we have that addiction before we can do anything with it.

Mitzy Dadoun
Yeah. So true. So true. Matt, we're coming up on our half hour.

And one of our favorite things is Sharman's rapid fire. So she's going to ask you a couple of questions, rapid fire, just give you those first instincts that come to mind.

Sharmin Prince
So Matt. One word to describe you before prison?

Matt Melvin
Angry.

Sharmin Prince
One word to describe you after prison?

Matt Melvin
Empathetic.

Sharmin Prince
Most surprising daily routine you develop inside the prison?

Matt Melvin
daily Bible

Sharmin Prince
read? The biggest misconception people have about prison?

Matt Melvin
That everybody in prison broke the law.

Sharmin Prince
Most valuable skills you learned behind bars?

Matt Melvin
to journal, not gossip, and to have a positive attitude.

Sharmin Prince
Finish this sentence. My biggest source of strength was...

Matt Melvin
Jesus Christ.

Sharmin Prince
The hardest habit on the inside to break on the outside.

Matt Melvin
Gossiping.

Sharmin Prince
Ooh. Define freedom in one word.

Matt Melvin
Fearlessness.

Sharmin Prince
The best piece of advice you got on the inside.

Matt Melvin
To take advantage of every single activity that takes place. Whether I think it's gonna be helpful or not.

Sharmin Prince
The first food you ate when you got out.

Matt Melvin
pizza.

Sharmin Prince
The most important person you have to forgive

Matt Melvin
myself.

Sharmin Prince
And finally, finish this sentence. The past is a lesson, not a

Matt Melvin
not a final judgment.

Mitzy Dadoun
Thank you so much, Matt. This was so insightful for people who either their journey has taken them to prison or the path they're on might end up there and this could help stop them from getting there. Could you again just give our listeners how they can get in touch with you and where they can buy the book?

Matt Melvin
My book is available on Amazon. They can email me at BullyBehindBars at gmail.com. My website is BullyBehindBars.com. I'm on Instagram, BullyBehindBars, Facebook, Matthew.Melvin.5621, and X, BarsBully.

Mitzy Dadoun
Thank you so much for taking time today to really show people the type of transformation that somebody can make when they find God when they forgive themselves and when they keep moving forward rather than let past mistakes keep pulling them down.

Matt Melvin
Thank you so much for having

Mitzy Dadoun
me. You're

Sharmin Prince
welcome.